I have just received word that I will be fined by the NHL in tandem with fags (in general) to the tune of $100,000 for making light of Antti Niemi and his personal (faggy) life choices.
09 May 2011
0
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Racial Slur
I have just received word that I will be fined by the NHL in tandem with fags (in general) to the tune of $100,000 for making light of Antti Niemi and his personal (faggy) life choices.
08 May 2011
0
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BREAKING NEWS!!! D Town Bro Co.'s Own Jacob Allen Exposes Antti Niemi. "He Is No Hetrosexual"
1
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Verlander Goes No-No
04 May 2011
1
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Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden was buried at sea from the deck of a U.S. aircraft carrier in the north Arabian Sea after being washed according to Islamic custom and receiving a religious funeral, a U.S. defense official said on Monday."Preparations for at-sea burial began at 1:10 a.m. EST and were completed at 2 a.m. EST," the official said. "Traditional procedures for Islamic burial were followed."
"The deceased's body was washed and then placed in a white sheet. The body was placed in a weighted bag. a military officer read prepared religious remarks which were translated into Arabic by a native speaker. After the words were complete, the body was place on a prepared flat board, tipped up, whereupon the deceased's body eased into the sea," the official said.
I like to think that when they said Bin Laden was prepared for burial according to Islamic customs, and buried at sea, it's just code for "drew a balls and dick on his forehead, and fired his corpse off the back of the boat with an improvised water balloon launcher". But call me old fashioned.
03 May 2011
Heres To The Baddest Man On The Planet
by Jacob Allen
All joking aside, Peyton Hillis undoubtedly the next big thing. The NFL now has a hybrid running back that is unlike any before him. Its funny what some people do with the hand that they are dealt. Sure...most people don't carry the rock and run with it like a gazelle, or score 6 like its going out of style. I personally don't posses the athletic ability to go go gadget leap over an NFL safety that's been electronically programmed to kill me. Also I'm also pretty sure you were not blessed with the same Burmese pythons he calls arms, but unlike most of the other elite athletes he's had to grind it out and figure it out just like you and me. At every level he had a fight on his hands. Not a single thing ever, EVER, came easy. It's not as if he wouldn't score 7 TDs and maybe throw for one too against your high school team once every year playing for your rivals. He would. He's naturally gifted to the point that he could dominate your shit game in and game out at the high school level without ever trying, but he's no Adrian Peterson. He does not have breakaway speed like Chris Johnson or Jahvid Best. He's no burner like Michael Turner. Truth is its hard to say what exactly makes him as good right now as he is. One conclusion that cannot be argued is that every accomplishment he owns has been paid for and earned with blood and sweat. Peyton Hillis is the guy that was faced with a 3 way fork in the road at some point in his career. He went right, but right didn't work. So he walked miles back to the fork and then went left. Shockingly enough left didn't work either. Peyton packed his lunch and went back to the fork in the road again. This time he walked to the center road in the fork. He's still walking on this road. It seems to be working. Most people in his spot would have quit. What did Peyton do? Same thing he has always done and will always do.
Just dropped his helmet and smoked those who doubted in the chin. He's still doing it. He just did it to win the cover of Madden 2012. He is not yet a popular household player, but I assure you he will be. Fighting back is what he wants to do and its what comes natural to him. That's what's special. Never give up. Never look back. Never go down. Never stop moving the pile. He faces adversity like he faces a tackle. Its just not going to happen.
Physically speaking Hillis is a god, but somehow at the University of Arkansas he was rarely given the ball and never given a chance. Subsequently Hillis found himself behind Darren McFadden and Felix Jones on the depth chart. The coaching staff saw he was too big and too white to be a running back yet too small to be a fullback. What they didn't know is that Peyton Hillis is special. He possess that funny little "it" factor that turns water into wine. I would bet that 9/10 student athletes would transfer if they had to play behind not 1 but 2 first round draft picks their entire college career. Again i reiterate that Hillis is special. He just kept running. Instead of whining he lifted. Instead of sulking he turned himself into a pass catching machine. He stayed the course.
Fast forward to t draft day 2008. Easily the biggest day of this young mans life. Its the day that pays the bills or crushes the dreams. Hillis proudly watched his teammates get selected #4 (McFadden) and #22 (Jones) thus guaranteeing themselves zillions of dollars and security for the rest of their lives. True to form nobody thought much of him and he watched 226 people get drafted ahead of him. His rookie contract paid a whopping 400k/year.
I get that Brady got selected in the late (6th) rounds too and i know he's a world champ but the reality of the matter is that Tom Brady has a laser rocket arm and could charm the pants off of...well anything. Tom Brady can get anyBODY to do anyTHING just but smiling and batting his lashes. Straight up. Any human being that's reading this (male or female) knows exactly what I'm saying and fully agrees with this fact. You are thinking, "Your right. No doubt. I would let Brady violate me, probably even right this second"...and you would. No shame. I don't want to like him either. Just cant not.
My point is that Tom Brady may have been drafted in the 6th round but if that day were played over and over again you would see the odds play out and you would see Brady drafted 2nd or 3rd round. He's perfect and perfect people have always been perfect. In Toms case people just flat out didn't know it yet. I'm shocked he didn't lock it up in the combine with some sort of "Jediesque" eye contact mind trick. That's what get football players like Tom Brady ahead. He went to what is supposed to be an elite program. He plays the most important position in football. He's gorgeous. He can cry on command....and generally has everything going for him in life that nobody else has.
Ok...I'm wandering, but Peyton Hillis is not Tom Brady. 3rd string white running backs that get picked 227 in the draft that have the charm of a wild beast do not make it in the NFL. Yet here we are.
Chapter 3. – It's Quinning Time: The Josh McDaniels Saga
This post is supposed to be about Peyton Hillis and I have faith that it will be, but for the time being lets talk about Josh McDaniels. Congratulations on your success with the Pats, Josh. Well done. I can imagine how difficult life must have been as a 28 year old offensive coordinator for the best offense the NFL may have ever seen . Don’t take the credit…there's no credit due to you here. Despite the cheating, and the pouting you were given the chance to replace a legend In Denver. You certainly appeared to be a “sure thing” and a cant miss hire.
I should just stop this rant right now because after a full 30 minutes of compiling creative ways to bash Josh McDaniels all I have to show is 1 paragraph and am not even relatively close to my point. I should recommend to you the readers and to myself that I should move more briskly through my thoughts and I should focus on the things I originally planned to say. So often in life it seems easy to get caught up in the moment. Right now I am caught up in the moment and I would like to thin that somehow this is going to tie back into Hillis, but for now it won't. I feel like riding McDaniels for a little bit longer. Its been one of those scenarios that with more research comes more interest and more awe in his overall demise. Maybe its easier to just review some highlights (or low lights). Why don't we give that a try.
The Rise
Keep in mind that the Spygate controversy occurred in 2006 the year before the 2007 perfect season, and McDaniels was not ever officially blamed or fined. That said…even I am having a hard time right now identifying a single blemish on his resume from 1999-2007. It seems almost perfect and parlayed with the fact he was hired by the Pats at age 23 and was offensive coordinator by age 28 it would be hard to say that this wasn’t one of the all time great “young”coaches in history. Then a funny little thing happened. The first quarter of the first regular season game in 2008 Josh McDaniels had to swallow his first dose of cold reality. Tom Brady went down with a leg injury that would sideline him for the entire year. I can not say with confidence that McDaniels will never amount to anything again in this league, but if he doesn’t…he probably has that day to blame. In one play, on blink of an eye, his professional career flashed before his eyes. No I am not talking about Brady…he's was going to be fine. Worst case scenario is that Tom still had 3 Super Bowls, a league MVP, 1 gazillion bucks, and Gisele Bundchen to fall back on. I am talking about the offensive coach. Lets take a look at what Josh has done since the injury.
The Fall
Chapter 1. – Road to the Cover
Think Printing Press, Nirvana, Michael Jordan, the Wright Brothers airplane, the Internet, Elvis, Google, Eastbound and Down, the Model-T, Cell Phones, etc. Once in a while something or someone comes along and without notice and without question from that day forward changes the scope of how things are normally done. The man I am going to write about is one of these people. Ill get back to this.First off, congratulations to Peyton Hillis for being selected to be the Madden 2012 Cover boy. This year EA let the fans vote for the rights to grace the cover by setting up a tournament almost identical to march madness that was hosted on ESPN Sports Nation. Seeding and everything. They picked the best players the NFL had to offer and matched them up head to head. Peyton won. Many say the win was fluky. They say he didn't deserve it and that EA missed the ball on this one. I say they didn't. Scratch that. They didn't. I'm saying they didn't because they ACTUALLY didn't.
Chapter 2. – The Brady Factor
All joking aside, Peyton Hillis undoubtedly the next big thing. The NFL now has a hybrid running back that is unlike any before him. Its funny what some people do with the hand that they are dealt. Sure...most people don't carry the rock and run with it like a gazelle, or score 6 like its going out of style. I personally don't posses the athletic ability to go go gadget leap over an NFL safety that's been electronically programmed to kill me. Also I'm also pretty sure you were not blessed with the same Burmese pythons he calls arms, but unlike most of the other elite athletes he's had to grind it out and figure it out just like you and me. At every level he had a fight on his hands. Not a single thing ever, EVER, came easy. It's not as if he wouldn't score 7 TDs and maybe throw for one too against your high school team once every year playing for your rivals. He would. He's naturally gifted to the point that he could dominate your shit game in and game out at the high school level without ever trying, but he's no Adrian Peterson. He does not have breakaway speed like Chris Johnson or Jahvid Best. He's no burner like Michael Turner. Truth is its hard to say what exactly makes him as good right now as he is. One conclusion that cannot be argued is that every accomplishment he owns has been paid for and earned with blood and sweat. Peyton Hillis is the guy that was faced with a 3 way fork in the road at some point in his career. He went right, but right didn't work. So he walked miles back to the fork and then went left. Shockingly enough left didn't work either. Peyton packed his lunch and went back to the fork in the road again. This time he walked to the center road in the fork. He's still walking on this road. It seems to be working. Most people in his spot would have quit. What did Peyton do? Same thing he has always done and will always do.
Just dropped his helmet and smoked those who doubted in the chin. He's still doing it. He just did it to win the cover of Madden 2012. He is not yet a popular household player, but I assure you he will be. Fighting back is what he wants to do and its what comes natural to him. That's what's special. Never give up. Never look back. Never go down. Never stop moving the pile. He faces adversity like he faces a tackle. Its just not going to happen.
Physically speaking Hillis is a god, but somehow at the University of Arkansas he was rarely given the ball and never given a chance. Subsequently Hillis found himself behind Darren McFadden and Felix Jones on the depth chart. The coaching staff saw he was too big and too white to be a running back yet too small to be a fullback. What they didn't know is that Peyton Hillis is special. He possess that funny little "it" factor that turns water into wine. I would bet that 9/10 student athletes would transfer if they had to play behind not 1 but 2 first round draft picks their entire college career. Again i reiterate that Hillis is special. He just kept running. Instead of whining he lifted. Instead of sulking he turned himself into a pass catching machine. He stayed the course.
Fast forward to t draft day 2008. Easily the biggest day of this young mans life. Its the day that pays the bills or crushes the dreams. Hillis proudly watched his teammates get selected #4 (McFadden) and #22 (Jones) thus guaranteeing themselves zillions of dollars and security for the rest of their lives. True to form nobody thought much of him and he watched 226 people get drafted ahead of him. His rookie contract paid a whopping 400k/year.
The White Rhino flares his tusk
My point is that Tom Brady may have been drafted in the 6th round but if that day were played over and over again you would see the odds play out and you would see Brady drafted 2nd or 3rd round. He's perfect and perfect people have always been perfect. In Toms case people just flat out didn't know it yet. I'm shocked he didn't lock it up in the combine with some sort of "Jediesque" eye contact mind trick. That's what get football players like Tom Brady ahead. He went to what is supposed to be an elite program. He plays the most important position in football. He's gorgeous. He can cry on command....and generally has everything going for him in life that nobody else has.
Ok...I'm wandering, but Peyton Hillis is not Tom Brady. 3rd string white running backs that get picked 227 in the draft that have the charm of a wild beast do not make it in the NFL. Yet here we are.
Chapter 3. – It's Quinning Time: The Josh McDaniels Saga
This post is supposed to be about Peyton Hillis and I have faith that it will be, but for the time being lets talk about Josh McDaniels. Congratulations on your success with the Pats, Josh. Well done. I can imagine how difficult life must have been as a 28 year old offensive coordinator for the best offense the NFL may have ever seen . Don’t take the credit…there's no credit due to you here. Despite the cheating, and the pouting you were given the chance to replace a legend In Denver. You certainly appeared to be a “sure thing” and a cant miss hire.
The Rise
- 1999 – Daddy gets him a job with his buddy Nick Saban as a graduate assistant at Michigan State. (Stock: Up)
- 2001 – Joins New England Patriots as a personal assistant and the team upsets the heavily favored Rams to win Super Bowl XXXVI (Stock: Up)
- 2004 – Promoted to Quarterbacks coach
and team wins Super Bowl XXXIX making that the 3rd championship in 4 years. (Stock: Up) - 2005-2006 – Unofficially (05) then then officially (06) gets promotion to offensive coordinator following the departure of Charlie Weiss to ND. (Stock: Up)
- 2007 – Patriots have perfect regular season and shatter NFL offensive records under McDaniels. (Stock: Up)
Keep in mind that the Spygate controversy occurred in 2006 the year before the 2007 perfect season, and McDaniels was not ever officially blamed or fined. That said…even I am having a hard time right now identifying a single blemish on his resume from 1999-2007. It seems almost perfect and parlayed with the fact he was hired by the Pats at age 23 and was offensive coordinator by age 28 it would be hard to say that this wasn’t one of the all time great “young”coaches in history. Then a funny little thing happened. The first quarter of the first regular season game in 2008 Josh McDaniels had to swallow his first dose of cold reality. Tom Brady went down with a leg injury that would sideline him for the entire year. I can not say with confidence that McDaniels will never amount to anything again in this league, but if he doesn’t…he probably has that day to blame. In one play, on blink of an eye, his professional career flashed before his eyes. No I am not talking about Brady…he's was going to be fine. Worst case scenario is that Tom still had 3 Super Bowls, a league MVP, 1 gazillion bucks, and Gisele Bundchen to fall back on. I am talking about the offensive coach. Lets take a look at what Josh has done since the injury. The Fall
- 2007 – Member of coaching staff accused of cheating by filming opponents play calling from stands. (Stock: Down)
- 2009 – Immediately after being hired by Broncos begins feuding with Denver’s Pro Bowl QB Jay Cutler. Feud would eventually lead to Cutler’s departure from team. It was widely believed that McDaniels was targeting former player Matt Cassel, but when Cassel was traded to Kansas City McDaniels was only able to salvage career journeyman Kyle Orton in return. (Stock: Down)
- 2009 - Responds to fans insistence that Peyton Hillis needs to see more playing time and more carries by giving Mr. Madden NFL 2012 a total of 13 carries the entire season. Denver openly searches for a "every down" running back. These numbers are way down from the 2008 rookie totals Peyton amassed that included 5 touchdowns on an average of 5.0 yards per carry. (Stock: Down)
- 2009 - The Broncos finish the 2009 season with an 8-8 record, joining the 1978 Redskins and the 2003 Vikings as the only teams to miss the playoffs after a 6-0 start. (Stock: Down)
- 2010 - Despite McDaniels stating that he planned to expand Peyton Hillis’ role in the offense the popular running back with M1 Abrams for biceps was traded to Cleveland for Brady Quinn. Given that Hillis was unlikely to see an increase in opportunities in 2010 because Josh McDaniels Sucks. Trade is referred to as one of the most lopsided trades in professional sporting history. (Stock: Down)
- 2010 - Accused of his second video taping scandal. This time as a head coach. The NFL fines him big time. (Stock: Down)
- 2011 - Fired by the Denver Broncos front office after rumors of incompetency and turmoil with owners and players. (Stock: Down)
02 May 2011
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BREAKING - Osama Bin Laden Dead
Unless you've been living under a rock (Al-Qaeda pun intended) for the last few hours, you're probably aware that Osama Bin Laden has been killed and his body is taken into US custody. BrObama just gave a pretty sweet presser confirming the fact. Way to save your term as president, bro. He needed this as bad as the Wings need a game 3 win this week . He has presidential candidates blasting him left and right and this may have just bought him 4 more years. Much love for our troops, here in the States and overseas, that risk their lives everyday to make sure this cocksucker paid the price. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!
29 April 2011
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First Bar to Get This Game Wins the DTBC Launch Party
We've been talking about having a launch party for the website for quite some time now. The finances aren't there to throw a badass party solely off the blog's revenue, yet. By mid-summer it will be a go. Just enough time for a bar in Metro Detroit to adopt PoolBall. The instant I hear of a bar that has this game, I'm booking it. I want the inaugural game if at all possible. This game combines my two gayest skills, soccer and geometry, in one awesome drinking game. It would be the perfect cluster fuck mess that is undoubtedly the best metaphor for this website. A combination of skills that have no use for any important real life situation and drinking. Absolutely Perfect.
Staying on the subject of a launch party, there will be one very soon. If PoolBall doesn't take the world by storm by late July we're just gonna have to hold a kegger at "The Future" (aka my house) or a local watering hole that doesn't mind 100 staggering 20 somethings singing karaoke and vomiting in their flower pots. Stay tuned for the deets. Suggestions welcome, but will probably be ignored.
28 April 2011
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Johnson & Johnson
It is not typically in my nature to report anything unfounded—or worse, something floating around on Twitter. But some things have come to my attention regarding the man once known as Chad Johnson. Chad Ochocinco, as he is known today, has been connected with the Detroit Lions several times in recent weeks. First it was his soccer showdown with Ndamukong Suh, which seemed to make sense. Today, Ochocinco worked out with Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson and afterwards had this to say on his Twitter feed. "@Bigplaycj if you are #MegaTron I think I should be like a little #GoBot,what you think?"
Could you imagine Calvin and Chad Johnson (you know he changes his name back to Johnson for jersey sale purposes half way through the year. Then Calvin's jersey would have to say Ca. Johnson. From a sales stand point the whole thing is brilliant). First Ocho drops a Transformers reference and then I drop a "Worlds largest Pharmaceutical and Therapuetical Company" reference. Is this real life?
27 April 2011
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How is Raburn still on the team??
Seriously?? How long before someone in the Tigers organization realizes that this dude isn't worth a hair on Rich's ass. I honestly would trade him for 10 bats right now. No joke. And no, this isn't based off of last night's Jose Conseco-esque blooper homerun he gave up. He's not nearly enough of an offensive contributor to counter the defensive liability he brings. I can't count how many times I've seen him miss a ball in the outfield while doing some gay ass maneuver similar to Will Ferrell's ribbon dance routine in Old School. And isn't the dude like 33 or some shit? Bro is bald enough to be on a Bosley commercial. He aint getting any younger, or any better for that matter, so trade him for any corpse a team is willing to give up before its too late.
26 April 2011
24 April 2011
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Video Metaphor for the Red Wings Playoff Run
All I can think of when I watch this is how dead on it is when explaining the Red Wings in the playoffs. Yes, we might be smaller and look to have weakness. When it comes to throwing our first blow, it will surprise you. Game on, bitch. Time to take it seriously. We trade shots, just like the 30 second mark, and leave you with your face in your hands contemplating your next move. Other teams will try to line us up and take a cheap shot (ala 1:10 mark), but we still will smack you in your fucking mouth, and inevitably get the last laugh.
22 April 2011
19 April 2011
Greatest Wings fan ever?!
He wanted to watch Game 3 of the Detroit Red Wings and the Phoenix Coyotes, but had to work on Monday night. He even posted one of those maudlin "I'm going to miss the game" messages on his Facebook page. So sad.Undaunted by the reality of his surroundings, John and Joe concocted a last-ditch attempt to spring him from his work obligations tonight: Inventing a holiday with a fake Wikipedia page so he could call out of work without any repercussions.
You know, like any of us would have.
Thus, the sacred "Kwanza holiday of El Juego De Tres De Los Siete (The Game of 3 Out of 7)" was born, according to Joe. Among the facts about this hallowed occasion:
"The beginning dates back to 1991, wherein the Detroit Red Wings would begin to make history as they made the first round of the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs. Every year since then, due to this astounding holiday, the Red Wings have not missed the playoffs. The name literally means 'game 3 of 7' and is preceded by national holidays el juego de dos de los siete and el juego de uno de los siete. Following it will be quatro, cinco, seis and siete.
"It is customary for any subscribers to the religion of the Red Wings to request days off, often at little to no notice, in order to take part in a tradition that millions take part of. The tradition is to sit on a couch (later rules to the tradition say bar stools and lay-z-boy chairs are an adequate substitute) and watch the red wings game while imbibing the traditional snacks of pizza, wings and beer (pizza, wings and beer optional)."
These guys are Octopussy Monsters if I've ever seen one! I think a girl I work with called in today because she was out late watching the game last night; admirable in its own but she can't hold a flame to this shit! Making up your own holiday based on the wings being in the Western conference and playing playoff games at 10:30 is not only genius, but... well fuck I guess its just Genius! On one hand, I'm a little jealous that I didn't think of this idea myself (I've been known for a few gold ideas that have later became actual things, ask MdotNetz), and on the other I'm wondering what I would need to do to get my work to embrace this. Hats off to these over-achieving under-achievers. You have forever set the new standard of being a true Wings fan.
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"That's Somebody's Daughter"
Grand Rapids, MI (CNN) - I saw someone at the airport the other day who really caught my eye.Her beautiful, long blond hair was braided back a la Bo Derek in the movie "10" (or for the younger set, Christina Aguilera during her "Xtina" phase). Her lips were pink and shiny from the gloss, and her earrings dangled playfully from her lobes.
You can tell she had been vacationing somewhere warm, because you could see her deep tan around her midriff thanks to the halter top and the tight sweatpants that rested just a little low on her waist. The icing on the cake? The word "Juicy" was written on her backside.
Yeah, that 8-year-old girl was something to see alright. ... I hope her parents are proud. Their daughter was the sexiest girl in the terminal, and she's not even in middle school yet.
Abercrombie & Fitch came under fire this spring for introducing the "Ashley," a push-up bra for girls who normally are too young to have anything to push up. Originally it was marketed for girls as young as 7, but after public outcry, it raised its intended audience to the wise old age of 12. I wonder how do people initiate a conversation in the office about the undeveloped chest of elementary school girls without someone nearby thinking they're pedophiles?
G-Rap in the building! Westsiiiiideeee!
Easy there writer guy. You should check the link for this guy's picture. The writer of this article is a middle-aged black man with a "Denard" hair-do. Dude is up in the airport just scoping for tail, and he runs up on an 8-year old? That description had me at "Juicy" on the booty. Love those. Where the author goes wrong in this is that he's not lookin' for mama bear. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree and moms is prolly a certified slam piece. You know the type. She wants to be the cool mom and pretend like she's still in high school gettin' in on all the playground drama. Like the mom from "Mean Girls". She instigating her daughter to give handy's to the starting quaterback of the 3rd grade recess team so she can be popular from the get go.
I see where the author is coming from though. Having a daughter would be a nightmare. Such is my luck. I know I'm going to have all daughters, and you better believe they're going to be playing hockey and softball just so people think she's a bro until she turns 16. Then I'll just have to pray every night, with my 9mm close by, that I won't have to go shoot it out with every male in the class of 2027.
16 April 2011
3
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Best Crank Dat Remix: Saved By The Bell Vs. Fresh Prince...WHO YA GOT??
OR
Two of the greatest shows the 90's had to offer. Both shows are undoubtedly a staple in every pre-teen's daily lineup. The real question is who Crank's Dat Soulja Boy better? Bay Area white kids with token Latino and black people or all black everything from the burbs of LA? The classic battle of NoCal vs. SoCal. The rivalry thickens...
15 April 2011
14 April 2011
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Top 3 Wings Playoff Moments
It's that time of year again. The weather outside is still mostly frightful, but the NHL playoffs are just so delightful...and since theres nowhere else i want to go.....give me goals give me goals give me goals.
Here are my favorite April - June moments since i was just a little snake.
#3 - The Drought Is Over
#2 - 2008 - Nicky Lid Gets His Due
#1 - Shot Heard Around The World
Heres to many more! Go Wings Go!!!!!!!!!!
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The Mickey Redmond Drinking Game
It's about time someone complies a list of his epic sayings. And what better than assigning a drink value to each? We're gonna go from most common(least drinks) to most rare(you're gonna get faded). I'm just rolling with these off the top of my head with some help from select bros, so feel free to help me add on. List your favorites in the comments section.
2 Drinks
- "Here we go"
- "Look Out!"
- "BINGO BANGO!" (unanimous favorite)
- whenever Mickey draws on the screen during a replay
- whenever Mickey says "gang"
- "captain"
- "Holy jumpin"
- "got his bell rung"
- Poor (insert goalie here) is thinking, where did you come up with that?"
- "Oh my!"
- "Goodness gracious"
4 Drinks
- "Slow it down right here, gang"
- "Holy Mackerel!"
- when ha calls Hudler "happy"
- anything about a ski mask when someone gets "robbed"
- "That was like shooting ducks at the circus"
- anytime they show Mickey after the opening draw
- whenever Mickey says "boys"
- "son-of-a-gun"
- When Ken screams "Scores!"
- "What is this league coming to?"
- "got his bell rung!"
6 Drinks
- When Ken says "A Datsyuk-ian move"
- "You could throw a blanket on 'em"
- "Then down he goes like he was shot with an elephant gun"
- anytime he gives a tip for the "youngsters"
- anytime Mickey compliments the replay crew
- "Holmstrom gets more attention around the net than a pretty girl at closing time!"
- "The equalizer"
- "Johnny on the spot"
- "Shot out of a cannon"
10 Drinks
- "Can you believe it?"
- "oye youye youye"
- whenever he references drinking (ie. pop, soda, beverage)
- "He had (insert goalie here) out on 4th street"
- Whenever Mickey makes fun of Larry for being hammered (ie. "Larry doesn't drink beer he drinks vodka and orange juice. Gotta watch out for that orange juice. It'll get ya.")
- "He was standing there like a cigar store indian"
- "Rockin' at the Joe"
- "monkey on a high wire"
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Kobe Fined $100K for Saying "Fucking faggot", I'd Be Fined $1.2 mil Daily
He drops it at the 0:36 mark.
I must say this is my go to phrase. I'd be fined hourly if this we're applicable to every day life. These days isn't everything shitty either gay, faggot, queer, cock suckers or some variation of that? I thought this was just common practice. If someone T'd me up and then I got fined $100 grrr, I would say some way worse shit than this. I'd be dropping fuck, fag, cunt, shit, and bitch at least 4 times each in a 35 word expletive phrase that would make your eyes water. I must have a dirty mouth, right Orbitz gum commercials? I did learn from the best, though. I distinctly remember my mom calling a McDonalds worker a cunt, to her face, for what seemed to be no apparent reason. And I was 9. Ah, the good ol' days.
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