29 March 2012

The Greatest Catch Ever

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14 March 2012

One Shining Moment

It's the most wonderful time of the year. I have brackets on brackets on brackets. I know the stigma of "too many bracket guy", and how douchey of a move it is to have more than one. This year I deemed it appropriate to have 5 brackets based on complete nonsense. I tried to find Obama's bracket just to see how he does, but either it's a confidential national security measure to not release it until Thursday, or my google skills are lacking. At any rate, here are some highlights of my asinine brackets:

1. Mascot Fierceness - My Cinderella story, in this case, was the Wichita State Shockers. I don't know what the mascot is exactly, but it's either a guy sticking a fork in a electrical socket, or the old thumb-over-ring-finger, two in the pink one in the stink move. Either way, a solid, fierce mascot.

My Elite 8: Kentucky, Duke, MSU, Florida, Kansas State, Florida State, Michigan and NC State

Winner: Kentucky Wildcats. Same mascot as my beer league hockey team. Fiercest. Mascot. Ever. #Meow.

2. Coin Flip - My roommate flipped a coin for every matchup, and it was fairly good news for University of Detroit fans. I'm pretty sure this might be the only bracket out of all of the documented brackets to have the Titans going to the championship game, only to suffer a heartbreaking loss. Hey, they had a 50/50 chance.

My Elite 8: Kentucky, Lehigh, Memphis, Murray State, Wisconsin, Cincinnati, Michigan, and Detroit

Winner: Memphis

3. Blindfold Bracket - I believe this to be the most interesting selection process. Wall Street Journal put together a way to pick, giving each team an alias, a range of their possible seed and ranking several categories (size, experience, 3-point shooting, etc.), so you can pick an unbiased bracket with your head and not your heart. Check it out for yourself.

My Elite 8: Kentucky, Duke, MSU, Missouri, Wisconsin, Ohio State, UNC, Kansas

Winner: Kansas. Normally I think Kansas is perennially the most overrated team in the country, but now that I think about it, they are very well balanced and Thomas Robinson is a beast. They could make a deep, deep run. Still not picking them in my money league.

06 March 2012

Guillen Hangs Em Up

Well this is The Coalition's second number hanging in the rafters (The Worm being the first). Carlos Guillen decided to call it quits today, retiring as a member of the Seattle Mariners. Sure the guy wasn't a spectacular player, but lets give credit where credit's due here. My man was always one of my favorite Tigers. That's a fact! This guy was just dripping Swagu. From the golf ball-sized wad of dip he had in at any given time (even on the streets on off nights) to the more recent Jered Weaver shot; who wouldn't love this guy? Sure, his last few seasons were plagued with injury after injury, but when he came back he had a flair that many other players on the team didn't have. Most notably Ryan Rayburn. God I hate Rayburn.

I digress.

Guillen was the last Tiger to hit for the cycle, and the first to do so in God knows how long (free shot of minz to the first person who can give me an accurate stat here). Do you know how hard it is to hit for the fucking cycle? Real hard, yeah! Well on behalf of the bros here at the Coalition, I'm gonna hang that big number 9 up from our virtual rafters and give it a Stone Cold Steve Austin style salute. Slamming 2 diesels and throwin in a pinch of Cope. Here's to you Carlos

24 February 2012

Red Wings Streak Ends at 23

The record-breaking streak is finally broken. That's how I feel in my heart..."broken". They say "all good things must come to an end," but I never thought I would have ended like this. Despite being out-shot, out-hustled, and the absence of Pavel Datsyuk, I don't think any of that had to do with the loss. The main factor is the fact that a close, but will remain unnamed, friend did not take me to the game. On Todd Bertuzzi bobble-head night, of all games. He has the audacity to call me minutes before he enters "the Joe" to tell me how I've been trumped by his girlfriend for the night. I bite my tongue and wish them well, knowing that as much as I do enjoy his girlfriend, I know that I have been in the arena for 4 out of the 23 home wins, and she has not been there for one. I hang up the phone and place my head in my hands. Hockey superstition sets in, and I begin to sweat. Here I am sitting on the same couch in my living room, in the same underwear, wearing my same Red Wings hat, and eating the same dinner I've had before every Red Wings home win during the streak, and something just felt off. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, and I know it's not completely their fault the Wings lost. But I'd be lying if I said that I didn't think that, had it been my butt in the seats at "the Joe", the Red Wings would be looking to win #25 on Saturday. Save the date nights for Pistons games, boss. Let this be a lesson to us all.

Combine, Schmombine

The NFL combine is so lackluster. I feel like everything I hear about it is how a lot of the drills aren't really important in assessing a player. so this year there's only 2 aspects of the combine that I'll keep an eye out for.

1. 225 lb bench press - I wanna see how many times these guys can bench 225 solely to compare it to my boy Cuci. I'll see how many times he can throw it up and assess real strength from there. Like Mark Sanchez prolly ripped it 8 times, Cuci could probably do about 22, I would guess. Sanchez: pussy, Cuci: man. But then there's Former Alabama RB Trent Richardson who reps 480 lbs on the reg because "they won't let me go no higher". I bet he gives 225 a ride for about 40 reps.

2. Rich Eisen's 40 yard dash time -

For the past couple years, NFL Network's Rich Eisen has ran a 40 and let NFL Network cover it. In and of itself, this idea is hilarious and brilliant television, but I can't help to feel some disdain for Rich when I heard about this. In 2011, Rich ran a 6.18 second 40. That's pretty damn good, but I'll be damned if I let a 42 year old, University of Michigan grad out run me in the 40. I'd like to think I could crack 5.875 seconds, but reality is, it's probably closer to 6. You better believe I will be running the 40 every year from now on, this time of year, to see if I can beat Rich, and if I don't I might just retire athletics for life.

22 February 2012

Stars and Bars Baby!

It was 32 years ago today that "The Miracle on Ice" happened in Lake Placid, NY. United States Olympic hockey team ousted Russia on its way to winning the Gold! This shit gives me the chills every time I watch it. A true underdog story combined with the greatest country on God's green earth layin it down! You're a FOOL if you think this isn't a good enough reason to get a USA chant going at the bar this weekend. A damn fool I tell ya! So smoke em' if ya got em'. Here's lookin at you, Uncle Sam!