29 December 2011

Over/Under Pistons Total Wins: 15?

Serious question. Who can these schmucks beat? The score last night in the home opener against fucking Cleveland wasn't even an indication of how lop-sided the game was. And the Pistons still got blown out. When we play the likes of the Knicks, Miami, Dallas, and OKC we'll get beat by 50 each night. Brandon Knight must be looking for an exit strategy already.

With the first pick in the 2012 NBA draft, the Detroit Pistons select ... Jared Sullinger. Maybe we can pay him as much as Ohio State does. It's bad enough we drafted a Dukie in Kyle Singler last year. Now we're gonna have to draft a Buckeye. How can we root for a team full of players we hate?

P.S. Fire Dumars. Countless terrible contracts that we'll have on the books for the long term and a miserable attempt to "rebuild". He hangs on to every player with any trade value until this team has sucked all the talent and will to play out of their soul.

28 December 2011

Pistons are in for a long, shortened season...

The NBA season also arrived under the Christmas tree this year, and the Pistons are one 33rd of the way through it. And, well, it doesn't look to promising. The shortened 66-game season may very well lead us to another lottery-bound April. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if we won less than 20 games this year. After watching the first 2 games result in blowout losses to mediocre (at best) teams, it's hard for me to point out many bright spots to watch for this year. But I'll take a quick stab at it..

On the bright side:

First round pick Brandon Knight could really turn into quite the player someday. Maybe even sooner than later. He dropped 23 points and 6 assists including a handfull of 3-balls, a buzzer beater from beyond the arc, and a no-look dime to this Vernon Macklin chap. Oh yeah, and he did all of this coming off the bench. Hell, at one point when the deficit was still manageable the
boy went on a tear scoring like a dozen straight points to almost bring us back into it. Almost. Still, not a bad performance by any means for a guy playing in only his 2nd NBA game.
Greg Monroe is off to a slower start but I expect another solid year outta the guy. I mean, look at the front court he's anchoring. Jonas Jarebko is starting at power forward. Which reminds

On the shitty side:
Points in the paint. It's pretty cut n' dry really. Cleveland and Indy both put up an ass load of them. The Pistons wanted nothing to do with them. It got me thinking (and tweeting.. @WildWildSteve) I can't wait to have Charlie V back! Seriously, its that bad.

DE-FENSE! All the talks about new, Mad Magazine cover boy look-
alike coach evident that either A. it really is a "work in progress", B. no one knows how to play defense in general or C. the players have already stopped listening to what the dude says. The coaching staff gets Shitty Side honorable mention because I'm only at about 88% distain for the guy. I mean its young in the season, but the guy hasn't shown me shit yet. He coached a star-studded Nets team back in 2004 to like 60 wins but my mom coulda racked up at least 50 with that roster. We coulda had Avery Johnson... Lawrence Frank preaching Defense above all else has kinda gone astray on me. Its

When in Rome:

I'm not sure I'm using the phrase correctly but there's still a lot of things that are up in the air for this team. Ben Gordon looks like a totally different player that scored like 40 points a night in the playoffs with Chicago. There's still time to play with the line-up to get Knight and Stuckey on the same page and starting together. Will "the Thrill" Bynum has been one of my favorite players on this team but hasn't set foot on the court in the first 2 games? Maxiell and Ben Wallace are bringing lack-luster performances to the table. But we do have Dominique Wilkins' nephew on the roster sooooo...

So sans some killer chemistry development and ridiculous development from rookie sensation B-Knight, I don't expect a whole lot this year. Hell, I won't even be able to watch when the Heat come to town. 16-60. See you on Draft night

God bless us...Every one!

Well another Christmas has come and gone and let me tell you I couldn't be happier. The one thing I wanted this year, I got it. No not the nice wallet from my roommates, or the prime rib dinner Christmas eve. This gift came wrapped in blue and silver. The Detroit Lions smashed on Phillip Rivers and the Chargers like they were a Christmas ham, clinching a playoff berth for the first time since 1999!

Stafford was near perfect on Christmas Eve, finding open receivers 3 times for scores and almost 400 yards. Megatron was back to being Megatron. Kevin Smith fooled everyone into thinking we weren't the second worst rushing team in the league. And Cliff Avril put a bow on it when he one-handed Rivers' pass outta the air and ran it in for a TD.

Christmas usually involves me drinking more wine and spiked Eggnog than I had initially expected, but with no rhyme or reason to it other than gluttony. But this year was a Christmas to celebrate! Forward down the fielld......

22 December 2011


Vancouver, British Columbia -- Add Ryan Kesler to the list of NHL players not happy with Red Wing Niklas Kronwall's open-ice hits.

Kronwall nailed Kesler in the third period of Wednesday's 4-2 Vancouver victory. Kesler then went after Kronwall, who didn't respond to Kesler's challenge of a fight. Kesler was called for roughing, and Kronwall was penalized for … nothing, adding fuel to the fire.

Kesler, a Livonia native, joined a list that includes Martin Havlat, Teemu Selanne and Ryane Clowe, among others, who've been angry with Kronwall's ways over the years.

Of the hit, Kesler said, "He was backing up and I put my head down for a second and he hits me. That's obviously his go-to move, always.

"I haven't seen it (the replay), but my only problem with the hit is that he doesn't stand up for himself afterward. If you're going to hit guys like that, you're going to have to drop the gloves."

Clean hit, bottom line. Kronwall only comes off his feet for a split second because Kesler crumbles like a complete bitch and Kronwall's entire body is forced to go over top of him. As for Kesler's response, Kronwall isn't going to fight you because Nik is a team-first player and knows he serves his squad better when he's on the ice. Kronwall is slowly becoming the anchor of our defense as Lidstrom passes the torch, so to speak. And how about Kesler's argument? "I put my head down for a second and he hits me." Ever since you're in peewee hockey you know to never, and I mean never, put your head down. If you do, expect to get your bell rung. Either he put his head down for literally one second after clearly seeing Kronwall literally hauling ass after him, or his head was down for more than just a second. After watching the video, I'll go with the former. Kesler knows what's coming, and there wasn't shit he could do about it but melt to the ice and let the second and third men in handle his dirty work.

Another thing I don't quite understand is how Kesler is talking about dropping the gloves. As soon as he gets up after getting laid out he is immediately back down on the ice and Kronwall is already picking up his bucket thinking to himself, 'just another day at the office'. You're not exactly the fighting type either, Ryan. Who's to say Nik doesn't leave you snoring after one haymaker? That's one shot, kid!

19 December 2011

Five Facebook Faux Pas

Everyone has their own Facebook pet peeves that make you want to quit Facebook forever. A Facebook free life seems so tempting, yet most of us can't live without it. If we could rid our news feeds of the following 5 things, our social networking experience would be far less depressing.

5. Mass Invites - No, Detroit Dubstep I don't want to attend an 18 and up dubstep show ever, let alone on a Tuedsay night in Hamtramack. And no, I don't want to water your FarmVille crops or take care of your puppy in Pet City. When you drop your phone in the toilet the first thing you should NOT do is invite every acquaintance on your "friends" list to a "Fucked up my phone. You know what to do" event. Just buy an Android phone like a normal person and all your contacts are saved to Google in the first place. Android phones = drunk proof.

4. Pictures of your food - Wow, that meal looks like it was delicious. You eat food too? Who woulda thought?

3. Comment section convos - All I wanted to do was make a witty comment on a status to make you LQTY(laugh quietly to yourself). Now I get a notification every time your great-aunt and your long lost cousin post a comment to catch up on each others lives. That's what their wall is for.

2. Making a Facebook page for your pet/toddler - Documenting a child's entire life via Facebook is an awesome idea. Contrary to popular belief, I want to see how cute/ugly your offspring is, and how they have brought joy to your life. But, was your primary intention to pass this Facebook page onto your child as soon as they're capable of using the Internet? And your pet can't even log into their FB account, which means you are maintaining your animal's social media life, and that's just sad.

1. Pimping your blog/tumblr/picsa/business - Guilty. I do this just as much as the next person. Look, if you're gonna read this site, I'm sure you'll come back to it on your own. I don't need to go to Facebook or Twitter after I create every post. We all think we are far more interesting than we really are. I'll follow your shit, don't worry, but please limit yourself to one self-promoting advertisement per week.

I think we've learned a lot here. Keep in mind these simple no-no's and we will all be in for a more enjoyable social media experience.


Calvin's Career Day

OAKLAND, Calif. -- Don't ask a boy to do a man's job. Hell, don't even ask a man. Ask a man-plus, supersized freak, a guy who is taller and faster than everybody else.

Ask Calvin Johnson.

You can talk about defending Johnson, and you can game-plan for him and bump him at the line and try to pressure Matthew Stafford so he can't get the ball to him, but at the end of the day, or the end of the game, the math never changes: taller + faster > smaller + slower.

Johnson finished with nine catches for 214 yards, and he deserves nine game balls. This was a performance for the ages, the kind that should shut up Johnson's three remaining doubters, two of whom just moved to a cave in South America.

A single player does not win a football game. But man, Johnson came close on that last, epic Lions drive. He caught a pass on the sidelines, one of the most artful plays in football -- catch, keep the toes down, fall out of bounds without dropping the ball.

Then came the preposterous: Johnson, doing a double move in the middle of the field, somehow turning triple coverage into no coverage at all. Stafford chucked the ball deep off his back foot. It was not a great pass. It didn't have to be. The Lions were in range.

Full Story

It's a performance like this that makes me want to allow Calvin to bang my future wife so that I could raise a Megatron Oreo baby into an All-Pro football player. I would be like Todd Marinovich's dad. I would make that kid eat, sleep, breathe route running. I'd make him have to jump to reach his food on top of the fridge when he is 4 years old. Now that's how you develop 40"+ verticals. And then I snap back to reality knowing that my kid would do more coke and heroin than Todd Marinovich because not only is his father a slave driving, narcissistic kook, but he'd be leading a pretty weird life at that point. His real father is a multi-million dollar hall of fame athlete, his mother is not around because she left me for a young black athlete, and he realizes I've never played an organized game of football in my life and everything I've taught him has likely hurt his chances of ever being a successful football player.

That's when I come to my senses and realize if I'm going to be a slave driver-esque parent, my kid will need to play hockey.

PS Sweet game, Calvin!


14 December 2011

May Your Time in Detroit RIP

Its officially the dawn of a new(er) era in Detroit Basketball as Rip Hamilton signed with the Bulls today. Ending his 9ish seasons as a Piston. Sure this dude has had more than his fair share of problems the last few years. Making headlines for all the wrong reasons. But as one of the few remaining TRUE Pistons fans, I'd like to wish him all the best on behalf of The Coalition. Rip was the team's leading scorer year after year, leading playoff scorer for the franchise, and was a corner-stone for the team that brought us back a Championship in 2004. His conditioning and style of play made it damn near impossible for a single person to guard him all game; thus helping define the "go to work" attitude of a team that had a 6-year run at the Eastern Conference Finals. A hard-nose baller through and through. We remember you for your mask. Your energy. And for helping put the Bad Boys of basketball back in business.

06 December 2011

Magic CEO takes a page out of WildSteve's book and gets a Late Night Drunk Dial

Vander Weide confirmed that he made a 1 a.m. phone call in recent days to Magic superstar Dwight Howard, and Howard thought Vander Weide may have been intoxicated. On that call, Vander Weide told Howard how much the Magic wanted to keep him in Orlando. "I was playing paddle with friends and had a couple of glasses of wine," Vander Weide told BHSN. "Maybe Dwight thought it was inappropriate to talk business after a couple of glasses of wine... Maybe I should have waited until the morning."

First of all; what the fuck is paddle? Secondly; my man needs a lesson in drunk dialing etiquette. You shouldn't drunk dial a bro no mater how much of a physical specimen he is until at least 2:30 AM, after all your ex GF's have blocked your number and/or cursed you out. I mean lets face it, at that point you just need someone to talk to.

We Created A Monster: Part 2

So last week I raised the question, "Who does this guy(Suh) think he is?", and I've found my answer. Suh thinks he's Tiger Woods. Short of the fact that Tiger banged out every cocktail waitress around the world, these two are eerily similar. Come to think of it Suh has probably had his fair share of strange, desperately trying to emulate his mentor. First off let's start with the Thanksgiving day antics. Both made national headlines for their Thanksgiving day transgressions. Tiger gets caught cheating, while Suh stomps a Packer. Shortly after their incidents both get in a car crash by speeding and hitting a tree. Both lie to authorities about the accident and later are called out on their blatant lies. Both men's sponsors publicly announce that they will stick by their ambassadors to save face on marketing plans that they've spent way too much money on to throw away, and will eventually latch onto the next big thing. (You think Tebow eats Subway? Prolly not. Your safe there, Nd.) Both are light-skinned black men that make you wonder if they're really black or some type of foreign.

Where these men differ is that Tiger is a proven winner. The only thing that could clear his name was to get back to his winning ways again, such as this past weekend. Until Suh can get back on the field and help lead this team to the playoffs, he will be in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons. Keep your head up big fella. Let's focus on getting you back on the field and embrace your winning potential. Everybody loves a comeback story. Keep your nose clean and deliver for us, and you'll be back in our good graces by January.

05 December 2011

Christmas Songs Like You've Never Heard Them Before

As a child, Christmas songs had very little meaning. More or less a tune to hum while your decorating or shopping and nothing more. But have you ever listened to the words of some of your favorites? Let's give it a try, shall we? I present to you, The Cynical Side of Christmas.

First up, "Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer". I'll tell you what I hear. Grandma had too much eggnog (and brandy) and she wanted to pop some pills because she didn't have any earlier. The grandson and her husband, good ol' Grandpa, refuse to give her the car keys. Somehow she sneaks out the door and figures she'll just walk to the pharmacy to get her Xanax. Instead of Grandma getting arrested for drunk-in-public, she gets mauled by a reindeer. The cops suspect foul play, but Grandpa's story checks out. Here's the kicker. Now Grandpa believes in a higher power because his only Christmas wish was for his wife to drop dead so he could gamble and have a beer in peace, without Grandma being up his ass. And what does the family do? They debate over returning or divvying up Grandma's gifts. No wonder Grandma was a boozer.

On to one of my all time favorites, "Baby It's Cold Outside". I'm not sure how courting worked back in the 1940s, but this dude seems to be striking out. I mean without the help of AOL Instant Messenger in high school, I'd probably still be a virgin. This guy is face to face and laying it on thick. He's what we in the 21st century call a "creeper". Homegirl has every excuse in the book. She's like 'my dad's gonna fucking kill you then kill me if I don't go home, but maybe a half a drink more' (God I hope I don't have a daughter. You know that "half a drink more" stems from underlying daddy issues and she's just doing this out of spite now.) My man says 'absolutely, go crank the tunes, tootse, while I get your drink.' *slips roofie* She comes back and goes "Say, what's in this drink?" All dude can say is how cold and stormy it is. I'm getting' it in for sure, he thinks. She says "no"at least 4 times. He goes 'no seriously it's really cold out.' She goes 'ok, now my dad and brother are both gonna kill you. If its so cold why don't you give me a coat then?' He gets pissed, threatens to cry, and wishes she dies of pneumonia.

Can't forget "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". This kids mommy is kinda a skeezer, no? First, she's wide awake at all hours of the night just waiting for Santa to squeeze through that chimney. "Mommy" is a chubby chaser too. This is premeditated because the mistletoe is strategically placed, and ready to go. Boom. She plants one on the jolly man. As she goes in for "the tickle", the kid sees what's goin down. Little does he know, when daddy finds out, it's not going to be as funny as he thinks. "That Kringle is a dead man!", screams dad, tossing the plate of cookies at the wall. Christmas day family meetings about an impending divorce are hilarious, right kid?

01 December 2011

You Sound Like you're From Lon-DON!

I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at this, but the British accent in general just cracks me up. Certain syllables are said in a deeper tone than other. A lot of it doesn't make sense. Just great! I was kind of looking forward to the person who filmed this rant turning the camera back on themselves to find out it was just some normal black dude, and this chick is just extremely racist.

30 November 2011

Cheating GF Gets Shit on...Literally?

Tattoo artist Ryan Fitzgerald from Dayton, OH was hit with a $100,000 lawsuit last week by his ex-girlfriend Rossie Brovent. She claims that her boyfriend was supposed to tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back but instead tattooed an image of a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.

Apparently, Ryan found out that Rossie had cheated with a long-time friend of his, but instead of confronting her about it he acted like everything was normal and hatched a plan for revenge. Originally, Rossie tried to have Ryan charged with assault, but the ingenious tattoo artist had covered his bases by plying Rossie with wine and tequila shots and getting her to sign a consent form that stated the design was “at the artist’s discretion.”

No word from Rossie on whether the illicit night of passion with Ryan’s friend was worth it. Moral of the story? Never cheat on a tattoo artist.

Now I've never been cheated on (and found out at least), but I imagine that if I had been, this woulda been a perfect plot of revenge. Granted, I don't have the tools or the steady hand to tattoo a steaming heap of shit on the chick's back, but something equally humiliating and permanent. Sure, you could easily go the route of Eamon, and just whine in melody but what's the fun in that. Mad props to this dude for really stickin it to her and making her rue the day she ever crossed him. Extra credit for suckering her into signing a contract before he inked her. Bro of the week award for sure..ya know, if we did that sort of thing.

By the way what ever happened to Eamon? Dude had a good thing going...

The Path that Led SUH to Where he is now....

This depicts it very accurately if you ask me. From the spitting image of Detroit portrayed by a crooked Ford sign under gloomy skies to the raw power of Suh. The man did this to himself, and the video explains it sufficiently. He can't help that he's 3 times more powerful than any player in the NFL and can rip players limb from limb. The moral of the story: its just money down the shitter.

29 November 2011

Flash Mobs are the jumpoff!

Flash mobs have to be the coolest thing! I would love to be a part of one, but I have no idea how I would even start something like this. I mean they even got little kids to jump in this mother! How do you get everyone to jump out of the right places at the right time? And those moves! Gotta be at least 10 hours of rehearsal a week for 6 weeks, right? These people must have twice the time and 20% more talent than I do. The only other thing that really deters me from putting one on is the off chance that someone at Target is in an emergency situation and just snaps! Like the old man at the 2:30 mark. Look on the dude's face says "Great, now I'm never gonna fucking get out of here!"

We Created a Monster

ALLEN PARK, Mich. (AP)—Ndamukong Suh(notes) is going back to the NFL, this time hoping for some leniency.

The league suspended Detroit’s All-Pro defensive tackle without pay for two games on Tuesday, punishing the second-year player for roughing up a Green Bay Packers offensive lineman after the whistle last week. Suh promptly appealed his suspension, hoping his stomp doesn’t keep him away from his playoff-hopeful teammates when they need him most.

Full Story

Sometimes I wonder who this guys thinks he is. Don't get me wrong. I love Suh just as much as the next guy. I think this "stomp" was more or less a "get the fuck off me" move which every athlete is familiar with. When you come out of the pile you're just flailing around kicking and screaming because you don't know who's coming after you next. This little leg move is similar to shoo-ing away a pet or a red-headed step child. He's not trying to stomp the guy, he's more or less saying get away from me, right now. If Suh actually stomped this idiot, there would be a lineman sized crater in the middle of Ford Field.

That being said, he comes off the field dropping "bullshit" bombs and whining to the Schwartz. Not a good look. This is the NFL, bub. You know, the same league that'll fine you $15 Grr for yelling at a fan or coming in too high on a cupcake QB. You so much as lift your leg to scratch your knee and put it down the wrong way, or pick it up to simulate a dog pissing on a fire hydrant as a celebration and the ref will red card your ass( yes, I'm comparing it to soccer. The NFL is getting close, no?).

The real issue here is Suh's ego. When he called up the commish to apologize he prolly called Goodell's personal celly and called him Rog'. But where does it end? With the Lions missing the playoffs because of his absence? Only time will tell.

I believe Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson said it best. "Know your role, and shut your mouth." You're only a second year guy, Ndomakong. Fly under the radar for a bit and take your licks when you have the opportunity. Don't get all diva on us now, kid. We need ya bad.

27 November 2011

....Hey Yo.....

How I didn't see the original airing of this is beyond me. Scott Hall is "The Wrestler." If you know me and my dream of being a WWE superstar, then you know how excited I am to follow in these footsteps. Kill a man, join WWE, knock a broad up then continue to downward spiral til you can hardly walk. Ahh the good life...

5 Reasons Why I'm glad the NBA is back

Since I'm sure the collective amount of fucks given by the other members of the Coalition about the NBA lockout ending is less than or equal to 1, I'll take it upon myself to spread light on this situation. I've been an avid NBA fan for quite some time now, and seeing all the NBA haters acknowledging their disdain for this sport; I'm a rare breed. A daywalker really. But I got about 5 good reasons why people should be pumped about the NBA getting back on track:

1: Brandon Knight-
Kid was a projected top 3 draft pick and we stole him at number 8 this year. Dude single-handedly carried Kentucky to the Final Four and isnt afraid to make big shots. He's the true point guard this team has been looking for for a while now. If he's as good as I expect him to be, you guys will be back to yelling "DEEETTTROIT BASKKEETBAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!" in no time.

2. Super Teams -
Heat, Knicks, and Celts all got their big 3. As much as I hate that this is what the league has come to, these guys put on a show. I expect some big time Christmas Day games to kick off the year. Heat-Mavs, Lakers-Celtics, Bulls-Knicks. A plethora of dunks and dimes will overload sporscenter that night. I can understand how no one would want to watch a Pistons-Grizzlies game this year, but these big-time games should be intriguing to all sports fans

3. Lebron James' inevitable choke -

The self-proclaimed King will be back on the court and will be the focal point of every third headline in Sportscenter. He'll act all cool and collective, get a few more commercials, get boo'd out of every city he goes into and he'll probably silence most of them. But when this team struggles it really get my balls tingling. I want nothing more than Lebron to choke every playoff series he's ever in.

4. Pistons' Jersey Numbers -
Has anyone else noticed how they retired Dennis Rodman's number 10 jersey but Greg Monroe continues to wear it? Or that when they drafted Brandon Knight they gave him jersey number 7, which right now belongs to Ben Gordon? Get this shit together.

5. More Sports to Watch! -
Love it or hate it, the NBA is back. If you're a sports junkie like me you're just pumped that you don't have to wait every 3rd day for a Wings game, or your weekly Lions and College football fix. More games, more top plays, more action. It's a win-win

21 November 2011

JV is MVP!

I see you JV!

19 November 2011

MSU Clinches Legends Division, Big Ten Championship Game Berth

...and I just purchased my ticket to the game. I hear Indianapolis is beautiful in December.

15 November 2011


Well I'd be way more excited for this if I didn't see it coming a nautical mile away. My man won the triple crown this year (most wins, strikeouts and lowest WHIP). Missed the Quadruple barely with a 2.40 ERA as to Weaver's 2.28. Dude's sick. Nothing else to say about it. Strikeout master (filthy stuff according to Rod Allen). WHIP that rivals my GPA my Freshman year at Central. And he keeps getting better. Hat's off to you, Mr. Verlander. I say he's got a good shot at MVP as well next week.

-Editors Note: Is this video good or shitty? I just uploaded it and was too lazy to watch the whole thing.

What? I can't just sit here and blog all day I gotta go!

This State Looks Down on Sodomy....

From DetNews:

Associated Press

St. Johns— A mid-Michigan man accused of having sex with a horse has been sentenced to 90 days in jail.

John Mester told a Clinton County judge Monday that he has some psychological issues and his actions were inexcusable. In September, he pleaded guilty to attempted sodomy.

The Lansing State Journal says Mester has been ordered to pay more than $4,000 in restitution to his neighbor, who boards horses. The incident occurred there and was caught on a surveillance camera.

The neighbor says she lost business after a horse owner saw Mester roaming the pasture. Mester was involved in a similar case in 2001 and pleaded no contest to attempted animal torture.

From The Detroit News: http://detnews.com/article/20111115/METRO/111150387/Man-accused-of-having-sex-with-horse-gets-jail-in-Clinton-County#ixzz1dpLJ2n2w

There's so much going on with this story it's making my head spin. Not only has the word "sodomy" been used wayy too much in the media in recent weeks, but this hits a little too close to home. A number of things irk me about this so bear with me as I get you on my level.

First off, how in the blue hell does one go about having sex with a horse? Ever been on one on these things? They're the size of a small crossover vehicle. If raping horses were something that had ever crossed my mind, it would be immediately shot down by me fear of it kicking my balls straight out of my scrote as soon as I got up to it. In the case of Man vs. Horse, horse always kicks the dick clean off of man.

Secondly, this makes me think; "there's a reason why this shit is illegal." From what little I took away from my business law classes is that laws exist for a reason. Home boy here is a repeat offender, so you know this has happened before. First person do do this probably did get their aforementioned dick kicked off, and got a hot shot lawyer to sue the owner of the horse. Now you got some law-makers on Capital Hill, looking at this bill (thank you School House Rock), with their heads in their hands like "OK seriously now we have to make it illegal to fuck horses?"
"Yeah, I mean whatever, pass the thing."

Thirdly, St. John is a weird ass town to begin with. We had a buddy that was from there who we initially assumed was the culprit here. Nice kid, but I distinctly remember a story where MdotNetz was driving around the town with him and they went through a midget village. Which is exactly like it sounds. A village with 1/2 scale houses, cars, shops, the whole nine yards. And some guy just built it? I digress.

When its all said and done though, there has to be some Penn State Equestrian Team joke to be made here, but I don't have the energy for that shit tonight.

14 November 2011

Six to Midnight : Gretzky's Daughter

I hate Gretzky, which makes oogling his daughter that much better.

see Full Gallery

Pictures via theChive

12 November 2011

Happy Veteran's Day Weekend!

Thank you Veterans for all you've done!

Another BIG sports weekend in the D. Good luck to all teams.

08 November 2011

Leave JoPa Aloneeee!!

Really Millen? Crying over this? C'mon buddy; like you didn't rape an entire organization for almost a decade? Don't act so surprised when your alma mater has been doing the same thing, only on a much more literal and disturbing level. I mean the shit at Penn State is pretty twisted. But I really can't blame JoPa for not reporting it. The dude probably forgot where he was 10 minutes after he was told and started to put jelly in his milk like it was totally normal. Alzheimer's will do that shit to ya believe me. But it's always good to see this idiot on TV doing something stupid. Gives people a real sense of what we dealt with for so long. I think crying here is so out of context. I mean, look at the chick's reaction to it. She's so stunned she almost speaks jibberish to fill the dead air. Get it together Millen before you look like this guy(girl?).

06 November 2011

Pump the Breaks Wings Fans

Image courtesy Yahoo! Sports

Red Wings faithful, please settle yourselves. Our boys will be just fine. After the 5 game win streak, I hear things like " Wings are gonna break the single season wins record", and " over/under Jimmy Howard shutouts, 25?" If anything, our fan base should understand that the post NHL salary cap era doesn't allow for feats of years past. Teams have built themselves specifically to slow down the Wings. So after the 6 game losing streak, when I hear a local radio station say "We're gonna have Chris Chelios on today to ask 'why do the Wings suck?'", I cringe.

The argument that the Wings are old is cut short by the fact that Jimmy Howard, Justin Abdelkader, Darren Helm, Valteri Fillpula, Fabian Brunnstrom, Nyquist, Johnathan Eriksson, and Juri Hudler are all under 30. More than half of our top 10 players are under 35. Not that old.

Our new Assistant coaching staff have taken a lot of criticism as well. Jeff Blashill was the head coach at Western Michigan and he single handedly made that program elite. Winning has followed him around.

Admittedly, this post is easy to write after last night's 5-0 beat down on the Ducks. Just let the Wing gather some steam and we'll talk about their performance in late December and judge from there.

Nix the Nickleback

Like any party, music selection is always important. Well, Lions fans have come out in numbers to make it clear that they do not want to hear Canadian rockers Nickleback at halftime of the the team's Thanksgiving game.

An online petition claims that "The Lions ought to think about their fans before choosing such an awful band to play at halftime," and requests that the club replace the band.

With the defending Super Bowl champion Green Bay Packers coming to town while a tryptophan-addled audience tunes in from coast to coast, the Lions will look to make an impression on the field. The city of Detroit also wants to send the right message: They want the rest of us to know that they do not like Nickleback.

Full Story

Just because the last time the Lions had a 6-2, potentially 7-2, record going into Thanksgiving was 2007, and that was the last time Nickleback was actually relevant, does not mean we should give them the time of day. There is no correlation between Nickleback music and the Detroit Lions style of play. I highly doubt Chad Kreoger would be determined "dirty" by a group of his peers. Nickleback isn't the only group set to release an album by the end of 2011. Drake, Rhianna, R.E.M., and John Mayer are all in need of just as much publicity as Nickleback. And as far as the argument that the halftime show is geared toward women, there are very few artists that would appeal to the ladies as much as the aforementioned artists.

The thing that most people don't realize is that besides having below average music, Nickleback has been an inside joke of pop culture since Coldplay fell off.

In my opinion, Nickleback is the only gourp who would agree to only playing a 4 song set and not getting that much money for it. I would say that John Mayer isn't above a short set at this point, but he prolly asks for a milli a show. Bill Ford's pockets aren't that deep. Could you imagine John Mayer busting out with a cocaine-fueled guitar riff, followed by a panty dropper or two, and closing with a Jimi Hendrix cover for good measure? Sounds like success to me.

What Happened? I Blacked Out...

So I've been on quite the hiatus lately, and for that I'm not sorry one bit. I've had probably the best video game binge of my gaming career. Now I never play video games any more, but with this game, I couldn't resist. FIFA 12 is more dangerous than heroin. I was going to write this blog yesterday, but my addiction got the best of me. I actually had to stop mid-posting this to grab the sticks and give it a go. The last time I got this into a video game, my roommate Griff and I beat Halo 3 in college. Also, when Snake used to talk shit and keep me until 5 am until he could finally beat me at NHL 09. I think this is in part of my quarter-life crisis to get some resemblance of my adolescence and college career back. At any rate, if this is affecting anyone of my friends, family, or random blog followers (I see you Russian and Canadian followers) I suggest FIFANON. It's an organization similar to NARCONON or Al-anon, but for FIFA addicts.

02 November 2011

Baybay, baybay, baybay ohhhhh

From Radar Online:

Teen pop icon Justin Bieber got a 20-year-old Californian woman pregnant during a backstage tryst and admitted it was his "first time," she claims in a sensational lawsuitobtained exclusively by Star magazine.

Mariah Yeater filed court papers saying that her sexual encounter with the "Baby" hit-maker occurred on October 25 of last year, after he performed to a sold-out crowd at L.A.'s Staples Center.....

....In a hand-signed affidavit, sworn under the penalty of perjury, Yeater wrote that a security guard working for Bieber approached her and "asked if I wanted to meet Justin Bieber" before whisking her backstage...

..."We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to f*ck the sh*t out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to....
..."In his own words, he said that because it was his first time he wanted to feel everything."

Justin then "quickly took off my clothes," she said -- and the pair had sex.....

...Bieber’s reps strenuously deny the woman’s claims, but Yeater wrote in her court declaration: "He was on top of me with my legs around him. At the time I was on top of some type of shelf. The sexual intercourse itself was brief, lasting only approximately 30 seconds."

Well if we've learned anything from the likes of OJ, Lindsey Lohan, and Ray Lewis; its that celebrities have at least one "get out of jail free card" up their sleeve. I mean odds are this is either really Bieber's kid, or this bitch is straight off her rocker and would do anything to get her name in the papers. Like, if I were Bieber (and thank God I'm not, for a multitude of reasons) and I had pussy throwing itself at me like that, I'd take full advantage of it. I'm pretty sure there's a story somewhere about a rock star who took advantage of it so much to where his dick split in half or something else as painfully gross. I digress.

I'd be willing to bet that in the event JB takes a paternity test, this kid has enough money, lawyers and twitter followers for it to come up negative. He'll be dancing all over Maury like my man in the video. Probably with even better moves. This may even bolster his career a bit more if that's even possible. Hopefully he can drop this whole virgin, Tim Tebow-esque persona and turn into the woman-eater we all know he is. The only part I feel bad for this dude for is when the chick claimed he only lasted 30 seconds. That's a low blow if I've ever seen one. Shit's hard to control sometimes. Not that I know what that's like or anything-er...


30 October 2011


A lot of hooplah in the news about this game. More specifically whose gonna "will" their team to a victory; Suh or Tebow. Now I know most of you are smart enough to read the headline of this blog as "Suh is less than Tebow," but just give WildSteve a sec to explain. Jesus.

Suh < Tebow is the only way I can illustrate my thought of "Suh will eat Tebow." Seriously. Ndom's about to om nom on God's favorite shitty quarterback. The metal face guard of Suh's helmet may be the only thing that saves Timmy from looking like Sam Jackson in Deep Blue Sea. I'm expecting at least 2 sacks, and one google image result of Tebow squealing at the hands of the Ndominator. Suh's bout to knock the virginity outta Tebow.

17 October 2011


You booze you lose.... an eight game lead

From ESPN.com

"Did we drink an occasional beer? Yes," he said. "Did it affect our performance in September? No. This stuff has been going on long before September, and not only in this clubhouse, but 29 other clubhouses too. We ordered fried chicken maybe three times in six months. Other guys who were not playing that day would come in and have a bite to eat.

"But what people are trying to do is a witch hunt. They're looking for any reason to basically tear somebody's head off because we lost, and people right now are saying it's because we did this. I'm not shying away from saying I did it. I admit it, and I'm sure the other guys would say it too.

Full Story>>

Hahaha. I really can't help but LOL to this. Or at least LQTM (laugh quietly to myself). John Lester of the BoSox admits to having an "occasional beer" in the clubhouse. Not that that had anything to do with their epic collapse in the final weeks of the season. Rumors have been swirling, but to quote Steve Berman: c'monnnnn maannnn! I know what an "occasional beer" means. I'll have an "occasional beer" when I head over to the Future to chill with MdotNetz, and end up at Bazookies followed shortly by some ex gf drunk dials and maybe even a bed pee. Can't sneak this shit past the Coalition Johnny boy. Just a classic case of boozin and losin!

16 October 2011

May the Schwartz be with you

YouTube Video

If nothing else comes from this miserable Lions game, at least we got this. Harbaugh can't just jump around like he won the Superbowl in Schwartz's house. Dudes a chump even if he is a Michigan man. Schwartzy was ready to Snooki his ass with one shot. You've seen the fist pumps, just imagine that intensity coming straight for your grill piece. Dodged a bullet harbough....

13 October 2011

Six to Midnight : ESPN Magazine Skin Issue

"The Mother Ship" released its annual "Skin Issue" last week. Here are the highlights(or low-lights. I feel like I can almost see the roller derby chick's asshole. You be the judge.)

Stephanie Gilmore. Some surfer chick.
Photos Courtesy: ESPN the Magazine
Alicia Sacramone. Gymnastics goddess
See? I told you, you could see it.

Gretchen Bleiler. Some snowboarder chick.

Check out the link above for more. Honestly, after I posted the roller derby chick's tattooed taint, I've hit an all-time low. I'd rather do some self-reflecting than post the 10 other pics ESPN released.  

SportingNews.com: Detroit 11th Best Sports City in the country?

Is this some kind of a Sick Joke?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! 11th! That's a disgrace if I've ever seen one. These jabronis must be talking about the wrong Detroit. Clearly they couldn't be referring to Detroit, Michigan. Where 3 of our 4 major sports teams have played for at least one championship in the last decade alone. Two of those 3 having won it all at least once. And 1 of those 2 being The Red Wings. The team that has the second most cups in the NHL! Hell even when we had a WNBA team, they were selling out and winning ships like it was nobody's business.

Honestly, I can accept a city like Boston or Philly beating us. Hell, even rounding out the top 5 would be pushing it. But what really gets me is the Cities ahead of us that have NO business being compared to the Dirty. Let me explain:

1.Dallas- Mad props for the Mavs beating the Heat in the NBA finals. That was one of the high points of my years as an NBA fan. But now you're locked out and you're banking an the Rangers making a return trip to the World Series. And to do that they gotta get through our Tigers. Cowboys are easily the most overrated team in football every year. The last good move the Stars had was re-signing Modano so he could retire there.

5. New York & 8. LA - These cities have 8 and five professional sports teams, respectively (once the New Jersey Nets become the Brooklyn Nets). They have the odds stacked in their favor to build a winning franchise or two. And between these 13 teams collectively; only The Lakers, Yankees and Giants have championships the last decade. Not to mention LA has 0 football teams and a baseball team filing for bankruptcy.

10. Tampa Bay -
Now this is the one that really gets me. I mean sure, the city has 3 professional teams that have
all either been to or won championships the last decade, but look at the fan base. You can't give away seats to a Rays game. Even when they're in the playoffs it seems to go unnoticed by the locals. Even the Bucs have been struggling to sell enough tickets to where the game isn't blacked out on local TV. Sounds familiar..

So lets say this list is for 2010, when the Tigs, Pistons, Lions and even the Wings had somewhat of an "off year." 11th place is embarrassing. The Lions may have been the only downfall this city's had, but look at the fan base. Lions fans are so loyal, I don't even think there's such a thing as a bandwagon for us. And now the Lions are the hottest show in the NFL, and according to one Yahoo! writer, the most hostile environment to play in. Tigs are in the ALCS and the Wings are on track to make their 21st straight trip to the playoffs. With the NBA lockout looking like its here to stay, Detroit should be a lock for at least top 3 Sports cities of 2011! And remember you heard it here first on the 14th best blog in the 11th best sports city! Beeyaaaawwwwww!

From Sportingnews.com-

It's more than just championships.

Sporting News’ Best Sports Cities rankings, which look at the 12 months from summer 2010 to summer 2011, are based on point values assigned to various categories, including but not limited to, won-lost records, postseason appearances, applicable power ratings, number of teams and attendance.

The list:

1. Dallas-Fort Worth

2. Boston

3. Philadelphia

4. Chicago + Evanston

5. New York

6. Pittsburgh

7. Atlanta

8. Los Angeles

9. Miami

10. Tampa + St. Petersburg

11. Detroit + Ann Arbor + Ypsilanti

12. Washington

13. San Jose + Palo Alto + Santa Clara

14. Minneapolis + St. Paul

15. San Francisco

16. Nashville

17. San Diego

18. Phoenix + Tempe

19. Indianapolis

20. Denver + Boulder

21. Cincinnati

22. New Orleans

23. Raleigh + Durham + Chapel Hill

24. Houston

25. Oakland + Berkeley

26. Oklahoma City + Norman

27. St. Louis

28. Salt Lake City + Provo

29. Baltimore

30. Vancouver

31. Anaheim

32. Seattle

33. Green Bay

34. Orlando

35. Memphis

36. Columbus

37. Toronto

38. Milwaukee

39. San Antonio

40. Portland

41. Buffalo

42. Kansas City

43. Montreal

44. Jacksonville

45. Cleveland

46. Calgary

47. Charlotte

48. Ottawa

49. Sacramento

50. Edmonton

Read more: http://aol.sportingnews.com/sport/story/2011-10-04/best-sports-cities-the-list-from-1-to-271#ixzz1aiN4T9Mj