15 November 2011

This State Looks Down on Sodomy....

From DetNews:

Associated Press

St. Johns— A mid-Michigan man accused of having sex with a horse has been sentenced to 90 days in jail.

John Mester told a Clinton County judge Monday that he has some psychological issues and his actions were inexcusable. In September, he pleaded guilty to attempted sodomy.

The Lansing State Journal says Mester has been ordered to pay more than $4,000 in restitution to his neighbor, who boards horses. The incident occurred there and was caught on a surveillance camera.

The neighbor says she lost business after a horse owner saw Mester roaming the pasture. Mester was involved in a similar case in 2001 and pleaded no contest to attempted animal torture.

From The Detroit News: http://detnews.com/article/20111115/METRO/111150387/Man-accused-of-having-sex-with-horse-gets-jail-in-Clinton-County#ixzz1dpLJ2n2w

There's so much going on with this story it's making my head spin. Not only has the word "sodomy" been used wayy too much in the media in recent weeks, but this hits a little too close to home. A number of things irk me about this so bear with me as I get you on my level.

First off, how in the blue hell does one go about having sex with a horse? Ever been on one on these things? They're the size of a small crossover vehicle. If raping horses were something that had ever crossed my mind, it would be immediately shot down by me fear of it kicking my balls straight out of my scrote as soon as I got up to it. In the case of Man vs. Horse, horse always kicks the dick clean off of man.

Secondly, this makes me think; "there's a reason why this shit is illegal." From what little I took away from my business law classes is that laws exist for a reason. Home boy here is a repeat offender, so you know this has happened before. First person do do this probably did get their aforementioned dick kicked off, and got a hot shot lawyer to sue the owner of the horse. Now you got some law-makers on Capital Hill, looking at this bill (thank you School House Rock), with their heads in their hands like "OK seriously now we have to make it illegal to fuck horses?"
"Yeah, I mean whatever, pass the thing."

Thirdly, St. John is a weird ass town to begin with. We had a buddy that was from there who we initially assumed was the culprit here. Nice kid, but I distinctly remember a story where MdotNetz was driving around the town with him and they went through a midget village. Which is exactly like it sounds. A village with 1/2 scale houses, cars, shops, the whole nine yards. And some guy just built it? I digress.

When its all said and done though, there has to be some Penn State Equestrian Team joke to be made here, but I don't have the energy for that shit tonight.


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