19 December 2011

Five Facebook Faux Pas

Everyone has their own Facebook pet peeves that make you want to quit Facebook forever. A Facebook free life seems so tempting, yet most of us can't live without it. If we could rid our news feeds of the following 5 things, our social networking experience would be far less depressing.

5. Mass Invites - No, Detroit Dubstep I don't want to attend an 18 and up dubstep show ever, let alone on a Tuedsay night in Hamtramack. And no, I don't want to water your FarmVille crops or take care of your puppy in Pet City. When you drop your phone in the toilet the first thing you should NOT do is invite every acquaintance on your "friends" list to a "Fucked up my phone. You know what to do" event. Just buy an Android phone like a normal person and all your contacts are saved to Google in the first place. Android phones = drunk proof.

4. Pictures of your food - Wow, that meal looks like it was delicious. You eat food too? Who woulda thought?

3. Comment section convos - All I wanted to do was make a witty comment on a status to make you LQTY(laugh quietly to yourself). Now I get a notification every time your great-aunt and your long lost cousin post a comment to catch up on each others lives. That's what their wall is for.

2. Making a Facebook page for your pet/toddler - Documenting a child's entire life via Facebook is an awesome idea. Contrary to popular belief, I want to see how cute/ugly your offspring is, and how they have brought joy to your life. But, was your primary intention to pass this Facebook page onto your child as soon as they're capable of using the Internet? And your pet can't even log into their FB account, which means you are maintaining your animal's social media life, and that's just sad.

1. Pimping your blog/tumblr/picsa/business - Guilty. I do this just as much as the next person. Look, if you're gonna read this site, I'm sure you'll come back to it on your own. I don't need to go to Facebook or Twitter after I create every post. We all think we are far more interesting than we really are. I'll follow your shit, don't worry, but please limit yourself to one self-promoting advertisement per week.

I think we've learned a lot here. Keep in mind these simple no-no's and we will all be in for a more enjoyable social media experience.



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