01 February 2012

Eaasssy Money...

Well Super Bowl is right around the corner and for all you compulsive gamblers out there, Bovada has released all the prop bets. These are basically the bets on any and everything that is involved with the Super Bowl. Some people have a serious problem with this shit. They get in way too deep. Last year my old man celebrated the coin toss, said he dropped $2500 on it. To this day I don't really know if he was kidding or serious. I digress.

Well if parlays and betting the Vegas line isn't really the thing for you; The Coalition has some absolute LOCKS for the prop bets that can turn you a quick dime:

Bet 1: Over/Under 1:34 for Kelly Clarkston to sing the National Anthem
I timed out a performance at a Cowboys game at 1:32. Close call but you gotta figure this is the biggest stage of them all. See, home girl hasn't been in the spotlight much lately and she's ready to rock this son bitch. I bet she gets a long "glare,' "free," and most definately a stellar "brave" that puts her will into 1:45.

Bet 2: Kelly Clarkston will omit at least 1 word from the Nationl Anthem
Again, KC's got a lot to prove out here today.She's got a new CD that dropped and a hit single. This is what stars are made of. I got faith in my girl here.
BET - There isn't a "No" option, I just really expect her to kill The Star Spangled Banner

Bet 3: Will Madonna wear fishnet stockings on the halftime show?
2 words: Varicose. Veins. Chick's way past her prime and I don't think the NFL is trying to bring sexy back to the halftime show anytime soon. Especially not with a Fifty-something Madonna.

Bet 4: Over/Under 3.5 times they show Peyton Manning during the game
Remember that time you re-mortgaged your house, sold your baseball card collection, or donated a bunch of sperm for extra cash? Well this is what you did it for! Eli playing in the house that Peyton built, with retirement talks in the air and a beef with his team's owner? Bet the HOUSE on the over! They show him 5 times at least!

Bet 5 - What color will the Gatorade bath be?
I swear it's always yellow. At 5/2 you can't miss.
BET - Yellow

Other Notable Bets:

Coin Toss - NFC has won the coin toss 14 straight times. As a man of logic and mathematics, I'll go with the AFC this year.

Who MVP Thanks First - Teammates is 5/4. But Brady has a hard on for Belichick and i bet if the Pats win, coach gets first thank you. 12/1 - I'll take it.

Over/Under 1.5 times they show David Tyree's catch from 2008 Super Bowl- Well I've seen it about 1600 times this week alone. I imagine it's going to be a pretty close game, and when crunch time comes, they show it at least once. If there's a challenge flag thrown, there's your over.

Now go out there and put your kids' college fund to good use and make some money! Anything you win you split with The Coalition 60/40. Since I did all the work and we're currently banned from Google AdSense for trying to cheat the system. We're broke bitch!


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