19 April 2011

"That's Somebody's Daughter"

Grand Rapids, MI (CNN) - I saw someone at the airport the other day who really caught my eye.Her beautiful, long blond hair was braided back a la Bo Derek in the movie "10" (or for the younger set, Christina Aguilera during her "Xtina" phase). Her lips were pink and shiny from the gloss, and her earrings dangled playfully from her lobes.

You can tell she had been vacationing somewhere warm, because you could see her deep tan around her midriff thanks to the halter top and the tight sweatpants that rested just a little low on her waist. The icing on the cake? The word "Juicy" was written on her backside.

Yeah, that 8-year-old girl was something to see alright. ... I hope her parents are proud. Their daughter was the sexiest girl in the terminal, and she's not even in middle school yet.

Abercrombie & Fitch came under fire this spring for introducing the "Ashley," a push-up bra for girls who normally are too young to have anything to push up. Originally it was marketed for girls as young as 7, but after public outcry, it raised its intended audience to the wise old age of 12. I wonder how do people initiate a conversation in the office about the undeveloped chest of elementary school girls without someone nearby thinking they're pedophiles?

G-Rap in the building! Westsiiiiideeee! 
Easy there writer guy. You should check the link for this guy's picture. The writer of this article is a middle-aged black man with a "Denard" hair-do. Dude is up in the airport just scoping for tail, and he runs up on an 8-year old? That description had me at "Juicy" on the booty. Love those. Where the author goes wrong in this is that he's not lookin' for mama bear. The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree and moms is prolly a certified slam piece. You know the type. She wants to be the cool mom and pretend like she's still in high school gettin' in on all the playground drama. Like the mom from "Mean Girls". She instigating her daughter to give handy's to the starting quaterback of the 3rd grade recess team so she can be popular from the get go. 

I see where the author is coming from though. Having a daughter would be a nightmare. Such is my luck. I know I'm going to have all daughters, and you better believe they're going to be playing hockey and softball just so people think she's a bro until she turns 16. Then I'll just have to pray every night, with my 9mm close by, that I won't have to go shoot it out with every male in the class of 2027.     


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