13 May 2011

Maxim's Hot 100 2011

Maxim's Hot 100 issue just came to my roomates' house today and I wasted NO TIME getting into that sum bitch. SPOILER: Rose Hutington-Whiteley (Megan Fox's replacemend for Transformers 3 get the number 1. Chicks hotter than sin, and frankly: I'm okay with the number one selection. Now, mind you everyone has their own opinions and tastes; but I feel like there were a few overrated and underrated smokes in here. Had Wild Steve had veto power for this issue there woulda been some rearranging and bumping. So just for shits and gigs (and since you know you don't have much else to do, which is why you're here in the first place) here's the Wild Steve overrated, underrated and snubbed.


79. JWoww: I'm currently having second thought about this one once I started googling pics of her to post, but 79 might be just a bit too high for this bitch. Yeah shes got a set of hammers on her and she's really cleaned up since the first season at Seaside. But you've seen Jenny in the morning, you've seen her cry, you've seen her blacked out. It just doesn't do it for me. So you can either get to the bottom of the list, stay here and get ya ass beat, or stay here and get ya ass beat!

62. Whitney Port: I seriously thought this girl was semi-retarded when I started watching The Hills. I mean not that I watched it...but.....OK fuck it I watched it a few times after Laguna Beach
ended. Girl's cross-eyed at best. Get off my list

34. Avril Lavigne: 34??!? Reverse it and add 60. She doesn't even make my list

4. Cameron Diaz: Sorry babe, your pic in the mag looks great, but any jabroni with photoshop can take 10 years off of you. Back of the line!


91. Erin Andrews: Erin has one of the prettiest faces I've ever seen. And she looks really hot nude but good luck getting your hands on that shit ever again. Girl makes a career of talking sports and being sexy as hell. Shes just a bro trapped in a phenomenal chick body.

82. Kelly Kelly: Now, I know you guys are probably all thinking that this has a lot to do with my love of WWE, but take some time and watch this chick on Monday nights. Her body is ROCKIN! The pic in the mag is bad as fuck too, she dons the stars and bars like its nobody's business. Plus I think shes bangin The Undertaker.

67. Ciara: Do yourself a favor and watch the video for her song "Ride." Put the penis rumors to rest and move this girl up!

51. Nicole Sherzinger: Pussycat Doll frontgirl can sing, dance and shes fine as all hell. Top 20 AT LEAST!


Jessica Biel: Unlike Cameron Diaz, Jess gets better with age. One of the Gibster's top 3 girls doesn't even make the cut?? It's a damn shame.

Trish Stratus: Another Diva, but ya know what? This is my blog so fuck off. Trish has always been one of my faves, and I know she fell off the map for a while but she's back now and better than ever! Check her out on the Raw episodes in the weeks leading up to Wrestlemania and tell me you don't got a chub.

That's the WildSteve breakdown on behalf of The Coalition. Dude! I can't just sit here and blog all night I got ex-girlfriends to drunk dial!