24 February 2011

4
Comments
Shit I learned from bitches I wasn't fucking



Maybe I'm writing this because my bitch roommate ate my last HotPocket. Maybe, because I haven't been laid since the first moon walk. Definitely because all hoes are crazy!
I am pretty certain at some point you have thought this about a current or ex-girlfriend, but I am convinced this principal applies more universally. There is a significant difference between men and women that has become seriously apparent to me since I have started living with them. Like Skynet, we are self-aware. A dude knows what he is, and can define himself like a Webster dictionary. There is little to no contradiction to be found in the male psyche, and we will most definitely express what we are thinking in a clear and concise way. Unfortunately this is not at all how the feeble woman brain works, and I will demonstrate below.

If a woman ever says “I am super laid back” it means “I like the idea of being laid back, but in reality I am psychotic like the rest of my gender”

If a woman ever says “I hate drama” it means “I like the idea of hating drama, but in reality I am psychotic like the rest of my gender”

And most importantly

If a woman ever says “I love watching sports” it means “I like the idea of watching sports, but in reality I am psychotic like the rest of my gender”

Moral of my story, the chicks you're not banging are as gross as the ones you are. Hair everywhere, dumps that would clog a high flow toilet, and an attitude that would strip the finish off a bowling lane. Of course I love women, but they are not like us, and the better we understand how their brains work, the better our chances of survival.

4 Comments:

WildSteve said...

I'm proud to announce that Terminator is officially the most referenced film on this blog!

Richie Rich said...

as my first comment on this blog i just wanted to say that i loved this post so much

Anonymous said...

Good one doctor phil. maybe u dont get laid bc ur dick is tiny

C-Bus said...

oh tiny dick for sure, however I was not digging into the reasons I don't get laid, rather how the lack of pussy has skewed my opinion of women. Keep reading, keep hating.

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