12 February 2011

Boobs vs. Butts


There are two types of people in this world. Introverts/Extroverts, Lakers fans/Celtics fans, Religious/Atheists. It really says a lot about who you are and how you live your life. Some people base their entire life decisions based solely on the focus of these social sub-divisions. They are pretty accurate judges of character. Boobs or Butts is no different. Gun to your head; you must decide. What kind of man are you? In my opinion, the first question in a job interview should be something along the lines of: "What kind of man are you, Jenkins? Tits or Ass? Ass, you say? Great! You're a perfect fit for the position. You start on Monday."

When it comes to the age old battle of Tits vs. Ass I have no idea where I side. This sense of ambiguity baffles me. I feel like I don't know who I am. I have spent the last 15 years of my life trying to decide on this very dilemma. My past "accomplishments" would suggest that I am hands down an ass man. It's no secret that I am a sucker for a plump rump. On the other hand, take a look at those fucking monsters(38DDD! Is that even a real cup size?) up there! Those have to be unreal in the sack. How do you even handle something like that? I don't know, but I would love to find out. Also, everyone has an ass, even animals. Nothing special there, you might say. However, no one on planet earth can rock it like a fresh, young slampiece in some Apple Bottoms. Boobs are easier to see, peeking out ever so slightly, cleavage just taunting you. . . I could go on for days.

Bottom line - I need this settled once and for all. This isn't just some Saturday afternoon hungover blog. THIS IS MY FUCKING LIFE HERE PEOPLE! Please leave a comment and tell me what side you're on. I need to be sold on this because both sides are just so fucking strong in this fight.


WildSteve said...

As a stakeholder in this blog I feel that I must take a stand here. Call me Billy Gunn, cuz I'm an Ass Man. Hands down. My trophy case speaks for itself when I say it. I will give credit where credit's due. Some girls have a spectacular set of hammers. But personally, the ass just does it for me

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