02 March 2011

"Bring Me Dr. Clownshoes"

I know what you're thinking. 3 Sheen posts in a row? Well, hey, shove it up your ass. It's a slow news day. Pistons blow. They're on a suicide course worse than that of the man who's the topic of this post. The Red Wings are going to finish top 3 in the West, per usual, and have home ice advantage throughout the playoffs. Miggy quit drinking(for now). The Lions have no foreseeable lock of a draft pick for the first time in years, so anything from here until draft day is a shot in the dark. Nothing crazy has happened in the D this week. It's not "So cold in the D" in March.

This man is "radical" in every sense of the word. From the "Death from Above" tattoo on his stomach, to the coke-fueled Hugh Hefener-esque lifestlye, Sheen has the most interesting Hollywood life style since Lindsay Lohan, the late Michael Jackson, and Anna Nicole Smith. One could argue that Chaz is an incredible mix of the 3. From the ‎"[I was] bangin' 7-gram rocks and finishing them because that's how I roll. I have one speed, one gear ... go!" mindset to the less than role model fatherhood, I am compelled to follow this story. 

This 20/20 interview was not worth DVR-ing to say the least. Although, some notable quotes include:

     "Ya. I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. Umm it uhh it’s not available because you try it once you will die and your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. Umm too much?"

     "It's words that sound cool together. It comes from my wizard master."

     "Yes, I drink water from my eyes."

     Are there any drugs in this house? "If there are you better find them and give them to me."

     "Child support payments are $110,000 per month."

     "Bring me Dr. Clownshoes."

Not as hilariously strange as I would have hoped. Obviously the interview was ridiculously biased, but still remotely interesting. 


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