28 August 2011


In 2007, Appalachian State was supposed to be a cupcake opponent. They weren't. So what would a rematch bring? Revenge?
The Michigan football team announced on Thursday that the Wolverines will open the 2014 season with a rematch against the Division 1-AA powerhouse. Yes, against the same school that upset Lloyd Carr's Michigan team, 34-32, and sent shock waves through Ann Arbor and the college football world.
That loss, the first in Carr's final season as coach, ended with Appalachian State blocking a Wolverine field goal attempt. One could argue that it was the first in a long line of embarrassments and disappointment that has hung over the team since Carr's final season and Rich Rodriguez's tumultuous three-year stint as coach.
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I wouldn't call this "revenge". It's more like if a girl broke your heart and then you spend the next 7 years lifting and banging out "practice girls" until she calls you all hammered one night. Finally the chance to redeem yourself. You get that revenge sex out of your system and wonder, did it really make you feel better about yourself? Probably not.
In reality, this revenge doesn't change the fact that your squad had the most embarrassing loss in NCAA football history, in your own barn, with Lloyd at the helm. It's like the kid that was super popular in elementary school. He Got all the girls, was cool with all the teachers, and parents wanted you to be more like him. What a smug, kiss-ass fuck. Until one year he throws up on everyone on stage during the school Christmas play, and pisses himself in embarrassment. You'll inevitably run into this kid at some point in your life and even though now he is very successful, and has the world by the balls, you'll still see him as Pisspants McVomit. Just wallowing around in his own bodily fluids and secretions. Nothing will ever change that. And you know that somehow that turn of events has made the universe right again.


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