12 July 2011

Mr. 3000

Derek Jeter is one of the all time greats in the game of baseball-except for the fact that he plays for the Yankees. From his overall batting average of .313 to his five Golden Glove awards to his five World Series rings, and even to his major league-leading stolen base percentage of 91.4%-he is one I like to call a badass. Not to mention, he hails from the always wonderful Kalamazoo, Michigan (for you out-of-staters, yes, Kalamazoo is a real city). Kalamazoo is a great place to raise a child, with 1 in 4 of its teenage girls stricken with some type of sexually transmitted disease. Being the third youngest player ever to reach 3,000 hits in a career, Jeter joins 27 other players to reach this memorable milestone. And he did it with style-by hitting a homerun in front of a sellout crowd of 48,103. Take that David Price.

I'm proud of Derek Jeter. He's come a long way. All the way from being a timid 14 year old, taking his first steps through those metal detectors at Kalamazoo Central High School to a member of the 3,000 hit club. And do you want to know the reason I'm most proud of this milato? Because he's done it with class. First of all, he's stayed loyal to one team throughout his career, through sickness and in health. Granted, there's been more health, but that's not the point. Jeter proves to all the selfish go getters (cough Lebron cough) that it really can prove rewarding to stay with one team in one city with one group of faithful fans. Second, he's a clean player. No steroids, no betting, and you called it-no cork in his bat. He's even steered clear of equipping his pitchers with "gunk balls," a concoction the late Yankee pitcher Whitey Ford used to use against his opponents. If you haven't heard of the "gunk ball," I suggest you look it up. Lastly, he's created the Turn 2 Foundation, which has a goal of turning young adults away from drugs and alcohol. You're doing wonders for the Kalamazoo community, Derek, but if you could only add the promotion of abstinence to your foundation, I'd be really impressed.

So, great job Derek Jeter! Congratulations on this amazing achievement. Hats off to the mildly undersized overachievers whose bodies are free from HGH, and whose bats are free from cork and sawdust. We salute you. Now, I ask just one more favor of you. When the Detroit Tigers make room in their salary cap for your 20 million dollar per year salary (and they will), please humbly accept.

4,000 club, anyone?


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